Chinese New Year had just ended, with the last bit of visiting completed earlier this afternoon (yeah I have quite a big extended family). For me, the last ten years of CNY was really more-or-less the same, programme-wise. The same rituals, the same visits, the same sequence of home visiting, from CNY Eve to whichever-day-our-visiting-is-complete. And of course, not forgetting the other customary stuff like receiving red packets.
One year ago Chelsea and I had no clue that that would have been our final year receiving red packets from our older relatives. If we had known, I think I may have relished the experience a bit more (hahah!).
This year has been really different, and CNY this year was really something that hit me (again) that I am now married and live a somewhat different life. The transition to married life is a little disjointed for me in some ways, because I’m still living with my parents, in the same house. In many ways things have not changed. Of course I’m living happily with my wife now, and it’s really a blessing to see her every day (instead of once a week last time when we were dating).
But CNY was an occasion that hits me that I no longer have the “family” that I’ve grown accustomed to (my paternal side and my maternal side). Rather it’s now “my side” and “your side” (i.e., my in-laws). Chelsea has a much smaller extended family than mine but that doesn’t make it any less important. And that, really, is the tricky part because CNY is only that long, and we want to visit as many relatives as we can… but scarcity would come into the picture and we really need to prioritise and see what is more important than others.
This also meant that CNY was particularly exhausting for both of us this year… whatever free time I had on my side, it would likely be visiting Chelsea’s family. At some points I wonder how we could keep this up in the years to come.
But of course, there’s nothing that implies that we can’t achieve a healthy balance… just that the process to get to that balance may not be so easy and clear-cut. After all there is no right-or-wrong answer, and we may take a few tries before we know what works for us.
Well I would be an optimist and say that it would be exciting to find out, and really, it is part-and-parcel of how newlyweds find a way to begin anew as a new family. Before long some kind of routine would form and this feeling of exploration, of trying, may slowly fizzle out. Better to enjoy the bubbles when they’re still around! 😛
Swee Life 