Time flies! It has been two months since baby S was born into our family. While the first month was on “easy mode” thanks to the confinement nanny, the second month was much tougher without the nanny. The day the nanny left, and after the celebratory mood that was associated with our baby’s first month has evaporated, that was when it sunk in that we are on our own – a family of three.
Of course, it must be said that we are not truly alone – our parents were more than ready to provide a helping hand. But for us, we felt that it was still important for us to give this parenting thing a try by just the two of us. In some ways, compared to my cousins who had kids and were staying with their parents, we are jumping in to the deep end of the metaphorical pool here.
As all parents already know, taking care of a newborn is relentless. There is barely any break – in between the two-to-three hour feeds, diaper changes, burping and Chelsea expressing her breast milk, there really is not much free time for other things like Netflix. The house still needs to be cleaned, laundry still needs to be washed. Having no “extra” hands in this context makes the days ever more so tiring.
But I think we have tried admirably and made it to our little one’s two-month mark. There have been (very) trying moments – when S is crying for long stretches and we couldn’t figure out why, or when we try to put her to sleep when we are exhausted ourselves. But looking back (it’s always on hindsight, isn’t it) it was quite a memorable month.
It really helps that I’m able to work from home too. The separation anxiety that I imagine I would face during pre-COVID days is virtually eliminated, other than the occasional day that I do need to go back to office. The shift to WFH has been probably the best thing for me as a new dad. It allows me to remain engaged in childcare during lull times at work.
So we have made it to two months. Every day, our little one grows just a bit more, and looks just a bit different from the previous day. When we look at photos from her first few days on Earth we are amazed at how much she has grown. At the same time we know that she will grow even more in the months ahead. Time is relentless; like it or not, the moment will pass. So it is a reminder for me to cherish the moments – even the loud colicky crying that comes ever so often.
I also can’t believe that it has been three months since I last updated this blog. I keep saying it, but it’s true. Just that life has been pretty happening so far and nothing comes to my mind to post, except for some days (or nights) like this when I feel a bit more contemplative.
2018 is coming to an end. The Earth completes another cycle and humans just take that to symbolise a start and an end. The last 365 days have been generally wonderful. It marks the first full year for Chels and I as husband and wife. Seeing her everyday after work, and first thing in the morning, is really one of the joys in my life, and I’m thankful everyday just for that. Of course, it really helps that we have moved in to our new nest (three months in) and I personally take a lot of pride in our home. So the cleaning, honestly, still doesn’t feel too much of a chore, and I revel in the nice “foot feel” of a freshly mopped living room.
Work-wise, 2018 should be considered a good year. I did quite well appraisal-wise, but whether it amounts to anything, honestly, time will tell. Hopefully something will show for my efforts at work next year, but even if it doesn’t, I know that I tried my best this year. Especially for the committee work that I have done, leading a group of seven peers to organise events and activities for a discerning crowd.
Friendship-wise, the groups of close friends shrink in number, inevitably, but I treasure the times spent more than ever. Really enjoyed the few times Chels and I had hosting our friends in our new home. It really felt like #adulting, when friends come over to your own place.
Running-wise, I somehow finished my second real attempt at a marathon despite training less than the previous time, and earning a personal best by a few seconds. That said, 2018 has been a leisure year, run-wise, and I don’t foresee 2019 changing. It has become a solid hobby for me and I hope it remains that way, when the only thing that really seems to be running out, is free time.
2018 has been a nice year for me. It may not have been as crazy as 2017 (from singlehood to married life) but it is still very significant – getting our keys to our home, renovating the place, moving in, going through a second year at work… much has happened. I’m thankful for it all.
Wow wow, how time has passed! I think “how quickly time has passed” is probably the single phrase that has been repeated over and over again on this blog, but it’s true. I’ve always wished I had taken some time to write down some of the things happening in my life, but always tend to get swept away by other things to do just when I feel like getting down to doing it. (Plus I don’t like to type long paragraphs on my phone because I feel quite slow doing so)
But okay, here’s a brief moment for me to write some thoughts and feelings on the last day of September!
The third quarter of the year has been a wild one. From checking of defects at the start of July, to finally moving in to our new nest in mid-September (right after the seventh lunar month), we really progressed from property owners to homeowners. It’s really another chapter in the #adulting story.
The last post was really just about key collection. This time round, just would want to share a few photos from post-defect checking (which took a whole month) to getting our home done! Since it’s an EC, and since we are simple people, we didn’t engage another interior designer to co-ordinate renovation or to provide us with renders for how the house will look like. It was all co-ordinated by me, and all the furniture was just chosen based on our window shopping for the past few months.
Even though the renovation work was ‘simple’, every weekend was spent at our not-quite-ready-to-be-home home, or doing something related to it. It was wedding planning all over again; our free time was consumed almost wholesale to the renovation and furniture purchasing process.
The funny thing about our renovation process was that we weren’t even in Singapore when most of the renovation was taking place; we were having our pre-planned vacation in Vietnam! Our electrician and false ceiling contractor (basically the only two parties we involved in our renovation process) updated us through WhatsApp. Our parents also went down to help take a physical look while we were away.
One of the first lights installed in our home; lighting was extended to include a L-box on the left and right side of the living/dining halls
Our master bedroom became very messy after our electrician hacked the walls to install new 2-way switches
Master bedroom with the false ceiling installed without lights…
The renovation process was honestly much faster than defects rectification… just a week after the renovation started, we headed back to Singapore to find many lights installed, and the false ceiling works largely completed. Soon the remaining lights were installed, and we just needed to paint the walls (more importantly the false ceilings which were not painted), clean the place, install the curtains and move furniture in.
Works almost done!
A (probably) more unconventional approach for us is that we opted to paint the walls ourselves, with the help from my parents. It was tough work but it was satisfying that the walls in our home are painted by us… a little homemade touch and effort. We had a tough time choosing the two coloured walls for our living room and master bedroom, but thankfully the colours turned out right for us.
The wife and our first coat for our living room!
The real hiccup in our renovation journey was the curtains. We almost didn’t have curtains in our home when we moved in – most curtains only came in the day before moving in (after ‘unexpected’ delays by the vendor)… in fact the master bedroom curtains only showed up on the actual day of moving in! We got a cheap ‘group buy’ from some Malaysian curtain vendor which honestly quoted a real cheap price for the whole unit (all curtains – including day and night curtains for all rooms – and blinds around $1200). Thankfully a lot of persuasion, some anger, and frustration ultimately led to us having most things installed for our home, curtain-wise. (We still have blinds that are not installed yet in our utility room…)
One week before our scheduled move-in date, we have most of our furniture delivered. ‘Most’ being furniture in our living and dining room. After a lot of window shopping all over the place, we ultimately put most of our eggs in one basket and opted for Castlery for our dining and living room needs. In the end we got a dining set, sofa, coffee table, and TV console (plus some poufs) from them. After mounting our new TV on the wall, we considered our living and dining room done for now.
The then-completed look
Moving our bed on 15 September officially marked our move in to our new nest. Moving the bed from my parents’ place to our new home on our own was no easy task. My dad had to rent a truck and got some of his workers to assist in the move. Cling-wrapping the king-sized mattress, bed frame, and then transporting them gingerly to CCK was quite a tiring experience. We celebrated our first night at home with champagne and spicy cup noodles, hahaha…
Tired but happy!
Now that we have moved, the journey to complete our home is not done. In fact it’s never done – there’s always things to buy, improve, change, throw out, and so on. For instance our entire study room is purchased from Ikea and installed by ourselves, a process that took a few weekends and weekday nights.
Study table installation in progress
The completed look… small and simple
Of course, everything that we have been doing is to build a nest that we feel right at home, and considering that it has been our third weekend here since moving in, it really feels like home. After all, I’ve inspected every tile together with my wife, cooked my first ever dishes, cleaned every corner, and saw it come to shape. I’ve grown up in my parents’ (and grandparents’) place since I was born, and (almost) 27 years on, I’ve finally moved out, with my wife, to a place I can call my own*.
* after I pay back the loans, of course…
It’s a different feeling, the knowledge that you are responsible for our own place. If something is spoilt, and you do nothing about it, it remains spoilt. Or dirty. Or untidy. Or wrinkled. It’s a huge shift, but with it, comes with the freedom to do whatever we like in our space. Sometimes I think about the days living back in my parents’ place. After all, 27 years is a long time. But more often I think about the people that I share that home with – my parents, grandparents and my siblings, and I wonder how that place feels like for them, without me living there. Of course I go back and visit – I try to do so at least twice a week – but I think it’s still different. My brother tells me that my grandmother asks my mum whether I’m coming home for dinner every day. While I never really talked or interacted much directly with my grandma, it is evident that my sheer presence made a difference at home, so I wonder how she (along with my parents) is coping with her grandson leaving the nest for a new one.
Now that myself and Chels, husband and wife, are living together in our own home (instead of my parents’ place in my old room), our marriage yet again feels fresh and new, despite us almost hitting the 10-month mark. We certainly didn’t think it would take this long for us to get here, but I still feel it’s worth the wait. 🙂
Today when I was walking to the MRT station from work, daydreaming as usual — mostly glad that the workday is finally over — I wondered how the moment would look like if I were a bird, looking down.
Looking down on Telok Ayer Street, and then further out to Cross Street, and the greater Telok Ayer area. Looking at these somewhat predictable bipedalled creatures, getting sucked into the underground as they make their way on small metal tubes criss-crossing the urban landscape above, eventually making it to the surface, and then — predictably — make their way to the little colonies (also known as homes).
Close-up, we look different. We dress different, we walk different, we are different. But I guess looking down, we are essentially the same. Moving towards concrete structures also known as “MRT stations”, disappear from the bird’s eye for a bit, and then resurface. Predictability in the unpredictability.
No wonder worker ants are called ‘worker’ ants. The ones I see at home, move in one straight line, from presumably their nest to wherever food is left unattended. Just like us, they are doing their work and whatever is required to survive. Just like them, I’m essentially a worker ant (on weekdays at least), where this daily routine of walking from Telok Ayer MRT to my workplace and back almost makes me feel at ease. From the nest, to where the food is at.
It’s the last day of 2017, and like last year I always like to take a little look back at the last 365 days and think about how much has changed.
This year is probably a year with the most change.
Entering 2017 on January 1, I embarked on a solo trip to Hong Kong. It was my first real solo trip and it was a refreshing change to see how I see the world, and how I feel about travelling solo. The short conclusion was: it’s nice, but sometimes having someone to cherish those memories with you is even nicer.
And then I entered the workforce for realz on 9th January, my first day at work. Just like that, a year has passed and I was recently confirmed (yay no more probation) and also promoted (it comes with the confirmation). But a year at the job also seemed to fly, considering that there were so many other things that happened this year. I’m thankful for a smooth first year at work, and so far work has been fun and enriching 🙂
My relationship with Chelsea has leapfrogged over the past year. In 2016 we celebrated our fourth anniversary as a couple together, which was definitely a big milestone, but that has shrunk considering the changes this year. From becoming homeowners in March, to getting engaged in May, and finally getting married earlier this month, this alone makes the year one of the most significant years in my life yet.
It’s a profound change. Till now I’m still wrapping my idea that I will spend the rest of my life – everyday – with the love of my life. Just last year we were still seeing each other on average once a week, and now getting to see her and spend time with her everyday is a real treat.
Thinking about the wedding day just gives me a nice, warm feeling inside. It was so smooth, and we are very thankful for how well the whole thing went. Considering we were amongst the first of our friends to get married, it was amazing how much we could accomplish at the end of it all, since we did not even know what we don’t know. All the small details for the wedding day were thankfully resolved in time, and everything happened pretty much on schedule, and our guests seemed very happy at the reception. The memory of that day will be treasured for a long, long, long time.
And of course, seeing the world with her is always a pleasure. This year after my solo trip to Hong Kong we travelled to Krabi, Bali (with Xixi and Paul) and New Zealand (what a trip!) for our honeymoon.
Of course there were many nice moments this year too, getting to meet my friends – especially a big bunch of them who graciously attended our wedding banquet, having fun and laughter, and just enjoying each day and making the most of it.
Next year will be a big year for me and Chelsea as we move into our new home. Of course, life throws surprises along the way, some good, some bad, but we just got to go with the flow and wish for the best.
And for 2017? It’s been great, and I’m filled with gratitude for my wife, family, and friends for the awesome memories formed.
It has been a week since my commencement ceremony. A week ago, I donned my mortarboard, put on my graduation gown, and went on stage to get an empty scroll from one of the NUS pro-chancellors. Empty, because it is symbolic.
Symbolic, especially since I’ve been working for six months already. Going back to school felt distant, strange, yet familiar. As I told a friend, it’s probably because I had thrown the “student” identity away over the six months in the workplace. The fact that I had “commenced” and moved on from formal education had already set in.
But of course, it was not symbolically represented. And I wanted a memory of a big milestone in my life. So I took leave (along with a 5-day holiday to Krabi with my fiancée) to attend my Commencement, a year later from my batch thanks to the double-degree programme.
Oh yes, the double degree… it was during Commencement that I was reminded again that I had successfully completed this programme. In the Class of 2017 BBA (Accountancy) batch, there were only three of us who finished the double degree programme. Everyone else seemed to have dropped out of the DDP. Interestingly (yet logically enough), there are more people who completed a concurrent degree programme (i.e., one masters and one bachelor’s degree) than a double degree programme.
It’s clearly a sign of not just the troublesomeness of juggling two degrees, but also how impractical having two degrees is, at least in the sense of job hunting for Accountancy graduates. Still, I’m glad I finished the programme with a high-enough CAP for nice Honours in accountancy.
What makes me really happy is that my entire family (including my future wife) was there to witness my (and my sister’s) graduation. I owe a debt of gratitude to my parents who have been there every step of my education journey, from a failed ballot for Nanyang Primary School (which I think is a blessing in disguise), to the PSLE, to an successful appeal to Nan Hua High School (which is a blessing too). Of course, with the tuition in secondary school, the concern over my ‘O’ and ‘A’ levels during my teenage years, and ultimately doing well enough to enter NUS on a scholarship… my parents were there supporting me the whole way — attempts to tutor during primary school, paying for tutors in secondary school, and giving moral and financial support during my JC and uni days. I would not have been where I am without them, and I’m glad that they secured VIP seats (thanks to my award-winning sister) to see us graduate.
I’m also immensely thankful that my grandparents were able to make it for the ceremony. There were many health scares in the past years as my grandparents hit (very) old age, so the fact that my grandparents are able to witness our graduation up front – at the age of 90 and 89 – makes me immensely thankful for their good health. I remember a period in my final semesters where I would go to NUH before and after classes to visit when they were hospitalised. They were slightly amused at the fact that I could pop by because school was so nearby… and I think we have made them very proud to have graduated with great results.
With that simple gesture of going on stage, my formal education has come to a symbolic end. Yet, nothing really changes. The act of learning continues in the workplace. The learning never stops. In fact, after getting used to formal education for decades in Singapore’s highly structured educational pathway, learning to learn “organically” is an interesting experience. The road ends here, and the search for the trail begins.
Earlier today my Primary 6 class had a gathering. It started with four of us eating at one of our classmates’ restaurant last month, and realising that it has been ages since we had met up. We remember our last “big” gathering, and that was in 2004 – just one year after graduating from Bukit Timah Primary School.
Fast-forward 13 years from that gathering, we had another meet-up. 19 of us made it, which is, I think, an incredible achievement given that we had given up contact with most people in the class. To get more than half of our classmates who are in Singapore is really quite something.
What struck me was how we recognised everyone almost immediately – the names just rolled off tongues as though we had just met each other recently. I think given that most of us are classmates for at least 3 years (in the same class), we still retain that sense of familiarity, even though it may have been years since we had any kind of interaction.
As the conversation flowed it was quite obvious that as times change so do our topics. No longer are the topics about school, or exams (which was quite likely what we talked about back in 2004). Things like work, marriage, BTOs become our conversation topics. They are topics for ‘old’ people, but it’s clear that we are at that stage in life. And maybe in 13 years time, if we do meet, our topics would invariably evolve again.
It reminded me of how simple our life was in 2003 (and prior). Sure, it was our PSLE year, and sure, there was SARS that disrupted our study schedules, but we didn’t have that much to think about, to be concerned about. To think that at that point, I thought about how it would feel like to “grow up” (not just in the literal sense). It was probably a thought during the preparation for the PSLE. Today, I realise that I am we are already living the answer to that question 14 years ago.
No fireworks this year, just a simple visit to my grandma’s in the morning (as usual) and a simple saturdate with my dearest Chelsea at Gardens by the Bay.
Much has happened this year – exciting things that rocked the world, and smaller things in my life that remind me to count each day – and make each day count – and be thankful for the little things I have.
Started off the year with new eyes (post-Lasik)… knowing that it will be my final year in school, and ended school on a high note, with good results and a job secured long before graduation. My relationship with Chelsea keeps on getting better. My running year started off not knowing what to do, then deciding to try out pacing and giving back to the running community… Somehow as the year progressed, I broke my personal bests in almost all categories I can think of – from the 5k to the marathon (yes finally!). And managed to cover 2,000 km in between. More importantly though, I joined Running Department, and met a whole new bunch of people and made quite a few running buddies.
I’m extremely thankful for my family and friends who are there every step of the way. Life was tough at some points, for instance, when deadlines converge during my final semester, or when I did not know whether my grandma would recover from her stroke. When I was facing a running injury, or when I doubted my ability to succeed…
Every year as I look back, the memories may be blurry. Some may be more distinct than others. But when I think back I’m always filled with a deep sense of gratitude.
What if someone you love were to become just a hollow husk of a human, requiring help ingesting food, unable to call out your name or talk to you anymore?
Why does the thought hurt so bad?
Is it because of the decades of memories I share with this person? The small moments. Nothing fancy. Like calling out for her when I reach home – from kindergarten all the way to university, with all the NS and internships too – and she’ll just say “乖”. The thought that I may never hear that anymore breaks my heart.
Or that one time when I brought her out on the spanking new Downtown Line, to Gardens by the Bay. A place where I run past so many times, but really only spent a few times in its compounds, admiring the sights. Me pointing out to her the small flowers and she’ll just nod in appreciation. Sometimes she’ll point something out to me too.
That was really an unique grandma-grandson day.
And now those will just be memories. And while the memories make me smile (like how old photos do), the reality that special moments like that will be harder to find drags my smile down.
This is not even a real blog post. It’s probably more like a random thought like…
THE RAIN THIS AFTERNOON WAS AWESOME.
It has been way too dry last month, and the temperatures have been getting more than just a little uncomfortable. It was bound to rain some day, but as the days went by, the possibility of rain just evaporated with the heat.
Until this afternoon.
Another reminder on how we take the small things in life – even a ‘typical’ tropical thunderstorm in Singapore – for granted.
Swee Life 